“The worst thing you can do is see yourself through the eyes of another.” ~ Swami Muktananda
When we look out and see another, we are subtly seduced into a flip of perspective where we see ourselves as we thinkthe other sees us. We literally see ourselves through the eyes of the other person. This breeds self-consciousness, anxiety, fear and inner conflict. On top of that, we don’t even see what the other person actually sees; we see our own projection of what we think they see! So our identity becomes who we think the world sees us to be. Here we have lost ourselves. We have become totally unreal… and we wonder why we are miserable, confused, and searching.
You might ask, “what’s so bad about seeing ourselves through the eyes of another who loves us?” It inevitably becomes an issue when that person no longer sees us through the eyes of love. Egos flare, anger rushes in, judgement makes an appearance – or maybe the other is just having a bad day and doesn’t really see us at all… These are all human nature. Its bound to happen. And then what do we have? If our sense of our worth and lovability is based on how the other sees us, then we have an empty cup in the end.
The secret then? The essential truth is that we must look within for whatever it is we thought we needed from others.
This is not a nice spiritual homily.
Swami Muktananda tells us it is the key understanding for the most dynamically potent psychology known to man. It is the key to true freedom. Only you can give this to yourself.
I have personally lived this
and here’s my January 2019 challenge for you:
Go within every single day for 6 minutes.
Just sit and focus on your breathing and on simply being.
Many, many years ago, I received this challenge. I was amazed at how many things I came up with that blocked me from doing this. I couldn’t seem to carve out just 6 minutes to close my eyes, sit quietly, and focus on just breathing peacefully.
This was well before I had two children and a busy household! My mentor, Devi, pointed out that my life was not my own if I couldn’t take ownership of just 6 minutes of my day to perform this simple act of love for myself. And it is a very certain act of courage to sit quietly with yourself as well – but one with payoffs you simply cannot fathom.
Ultimately, this practice completely transformed my life and my consciousness.
With that in mind, I challenge you to the same. Six minutes every day to simply sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Try this for a whole month and get back to me about how this was for you.